Saturday, January 15, 2011

Vol 104

Something I realized recently.
In context of size and complexion, while people may think I'm the lucky one, in reality I am not.
At least I never saw it that way.
I'm skinny. As simple as that.
Better yet, in the words of...everyone, I'm tiny.
I'm that stick figure uncurvy one.
At least I am for a black girl.
To my non-black friends, I'm shapely. *rolls eyes*
But despite my size, no matter where I look, on TV or in novels, there is never someone similar to me.
There is always the girl with the ample breast, shapely rear, thick thighs, hips, etc...or the outright BBW.
There might be a "fit" character, but never a skinny one.
Not unhealthy skinny. Just naturally small.
I eat more than any women and most men, but on a bad day I'm still a size 3.
And the more I eat, the smaller I get.
I'm not taking about eating salads and wheat thins.
Those are good, but give me something deep fried and smothered in chocolate.
I hardly ever work out either.
There is no need.
When I do, it's for muscle tone, not to lose weight.

On to another black person thing.
TV has an steady supply of their brown women.
Not dark.
Not even light.
Just brown.
And is that fair?
Where are the dark beauties or the high yellow ladies?
I'm curious.
I'm a high yellow, but I'm actually curious about where the dark beauties are?
There's all over the place in novels, but besides the two or three popular actresses, where are the others?
I know people think lighter is better and that's just foolish.
Things like this...I notice but it never really means anything until it stands out a lot.
I'm so immune to things like race that I only notice it when it really stands out or someone points it out.
Well, these are things that are starting to stand out as someone pointed them out.

And as the high yellow, skinny chick, I'm suppose to remain quiet.
My friends look at me and say what right do I have to complain?
But I have just as much a right as any other.

Things like this should mean nothing, yet they do.
Instead of big girls targeting me or me targeting them, we should all target those who say one is better than the other.

This isn't just a black thing.
Other people have it as well.
The tall vs the short.
Blond hair vs Red
Blue/Green eyes vs Brown.
It's annoying and rather petty, don't you think?

Everyone has their complexes, right?
Why make fun of someone because they're different?
Doesn't that just show how insecure you may be?
That's how I see it.
It's hilarious to see how many things really keep people divided.
(Not me. I accept everyone...or almost everyone. I don't like smelly people)
Things that don't matter.
Things that only a .1 percent gene difference determines.
Stuff that are measure by letters and numbers.
It just shows how silly people are.
(Again, not me. I accept everyone, except smelly people. And people who steal my stuff)
You want to know how accepting I am.
Right now I'm watching Ninja Assassin.
This movie is utterly, completely, terrible.
It sucks.
But I'm watching it because I'm accepting, and I think that Bi Rain is some smexy, Asian, eye candy.
Man, he can move.
They trained him hard for this role.
He looks nice.
His short hair is better though.
(Don't you agree Tia?)
See! See how accepting I am.
Want another example?
I stayed up all last night watching Lord of the Rings?
Not just because Legolas is slice raisin bread, which I love more than plain old slice bread, and not because Aragon is one of the hottest older men alive, but because of Liv Tyler's role as Arwen.
I adored her.
...I guess these aren't good examples. ;)
Well I can say that no matter where I am, work, school, outside, I have never treated anyone differently because of things that were predetermined and out of their control.
Now, I will openly admit that I am a rude bitch when it comes to one type of person.
And that's a pervert.
My tongue is sharp and I rip them to shreds.
The life choices they make are inhumane and I can't stand that.
My point is that whether you're white, black, hispanic, asian, fat, skinny, tall, short, blue hair, blond eyes, (lol), any so on, I don't and won't treat you differently.
I treat you all the same.
Like a bunch of annoying ass relatives.

Time to get back to my novel that has a BBW as the main character.
(Her friend makes me want to punch her in the face. She's a bigot in denial. Why is it always the light skin, skinny ones portrayed this way? *smh*)

You know, one of my favorite novels is a romance novel whose main character is only 5 feet 1.
I've yet to see a story where the character was I size 2-3.

I should stop rambling now.
I have to wake up for work in less than 5 hours.
Insomnia is a biznitch.